Present Presence

They’re two words that sound an awful lot alike.

• Present: NOUN “the thing put into the presence of another”
• Presence: NOUN  “the state or fact of being present – as with others”

I’ve not bought my wife her Christmas present yet this year.  In fact it’s her birthday two days before Christmas and I’ve not sorted that either.  Queue the anxiety, frantic impulsive shopping and stressful waiting to see what she thinks…

What should I get her?

Maybe there’s a clue in the talk I did last week at a men’s breakfast where I was encouraging men to love their wives, (and to some extent the other women and children in their lives) as Christ loved the church.  How did Jesus love the church?  Ephesians 5 says by ‘giving himself up for her’.  There’s a clear sense in which Jesus gave himself as a gift to the church and we should give ourselves as a gift to our wives.

Give myself?  If that sound odd to you then I’m with you.  What on earth does that mean?

I think Christmas give us a clue.  In every religious system, God gives something.  A book, a prophet, a pattern of life, a force, a task or a set of clues.  Christmas is unique.  Christmas where God gives himself to us – not in some secret super-human form – but he becomes a real, physical, sticky, smelly baby.  He makes himself vulnerable, becomes weak, submits himself to scorn, judgement and finally execution.

“He became flesh and blood and moved into the neighbourhood.”

What does it mean to be a Christian man at Christmas?  It means to become vulnerable, admit weakness and absorb the suffering, punishment and ridicule that rightfully belongs to our loved ones.  To be present rather than give a present.  To put away our work, our phones, our egos and look our loved ones in the eye and feel what they feel.  To become with them in every way.

“I loved you so much that I shared not only the Gospel but my life as well.”

May I challenge you men to think more about how you’re going to ‘be present’ this season, and less about what you’re going to put into their presence?  And if you think it’s too difficult – welcome to the club – you’ve understood the call.  Let’s find other guys around who can spur us on and encourage us when it’s all too much…